The end of 2015 is approaching. For me, the year just flew by, as they all seem to do the older I get. This year, I made some promises to myself, in lieu of “resolutions”, and although I wasn’t able to see every one of them through, I did try my best this year.
It’s been a year of self discovery for me. A year of looking deeply at the person that I am, the person who I have become in my 44 years. And trying to decide if I am being the best me I can be for myself and those around me.
It’s been a year of reflection and change. I’ve had to dig deep this year to make important decisions about my life and my path. I’ve had to embrace some things, and let go of others.
It was a year of bravery. I had to learn to be personally brave this year. I had to learn to understand that the world will not crumble if I say no. I had to learn that sometimes we hold on to things because we have invested our time and energy or our heart and soul into them, but that there comes a point when those things are no longer what we need. And conversely, there are things that we need to hold onto, to fight for, because they are the things that show us who we really are, that keep us grounded and maintain our sanity.
It was the year that wasn’t. There was lots of reflecting that never yielded answers. There were lots of goals set that I may have fallen short of accomplishing in a year’s time. There were moments when I needed to be braver, more decisive, and I wasn’t. But, I am a work in progress. And a year is just a year.
It was a full year of One Unified. It was our first full year of posting. We tweaked things here and there. We moved to a new home, a new format. We talked to countless interesting people. And we made new friends along the way.
It was a year of family. Another year that my children have grown. Another grade they’ve moved up. Another set of milestones they’ve reached. Throughout the year we have delighted in the everyday details, the routine. We’ve enjoyed family dinners, and holidays, fleeting days of summer, first (and last) days of school, report cards, Halloween costumes (this year for the record it was Mario of Mario and Luigi fame, Harley Quinn, and Dr. Who) sporting events and birthday parties, and all the days between. And in the moment, these things may not seem like big, significant life events, but as I get older I realize that it is true that life is made not in the big events, but in the everyday details.
When we look at the calendar spots between January 1st and December 31st, there is a clean slate, wide open space. There are 365 chances for anything that you want. 52 weeks to set a new goal. 12 months to complete something you started and never finished. Maybe you’ll do it, maybe you won’t. Try not to beat yourself up too much if you don’t. In some ways I was able to realize my goals this year, and take several steps on my journey of self discovery. And in some ways, I am still miles away.
Thanks goodness 2016 is another year.
Happy New Year! And endless thanks for your continued support, readership, friendship and love.
When Michelle and I talked about doing a New Years post, my initial reaction was, as follows “It’s redundant! Nobody wants to read, once again, about our retrospective experiences of the year.” What really happened or changed that is worthy of writing about? But the more I thought about it, about the year, I was reminded of what a big difference a year can make and how many great things (as well as some tough times) really happened this year. So, I’ll ask you to humor me while I bring to you “my year in review” for 2015…
It’s funny how as we get older, the days, weeks and months kind of meld into one another and we forget specifics, dates and times. There are exceptions though. June 12, 2015 is one of those exceptions. On the day I turned 44, my son graduated high school. I have never been so proud of anything in my whole life. I smiled that whole day (and teared up several times too). I remember telling people how I was happier that day for him than I was at my own graduation. He turned 18 five days later. It’s bitter sweet, having a grown child. There are more freedoms for my husband and I now to be adults again. But, it brings new challenges, worries and realizations. I’m getting older, for starters. It is also a rediscovery of ones self. Not that being a parent is over (it’s definitely not, it never is), but like a new parent, you’re trying to figure out what the hell you’re doing and assume that whatever it is, you’re probably doing it wrong. As with everything else, I’m a hands on learner and will figure this stage out too. In the meantime, I’m enjoying watching my son become the man he wants to be, while trying to guide him as much as I can.
Being the lover of music that I am, this year was one to go on the “best of” list for me. June 21 (the day after my sons graduation party), I was able to take him to see Paul McCartney at the Wells Fargo Center. It was my third Paul show, but my sons first. It was amazing to share that experience with him. And I’m grateful for my husband that didn’t complain that it fell on Father’s Day (he probably preferred having the TV and house to himself anyway). Then came July! Two glorious Monday’s in July. Tickets for the Foo Fighters went on sale that previous December at a time that my family was particularly strapped and unable to afford the tickets. But I’m blessed with wonderful people in my life, one of which was gracious enough to get the tickets as a gift for my husband and I, so we could go together. IT WAS AMAZING! So much so, that because I was in a better position at that time to afford a ticket for the following Monday, I went again. This November brought Dead and Company and became another memory to hold onto with my husband and friends. In between there were nights out seeing local and live music in the area, some familiar and some new. All wonderful. (Please support those local musicians out there)
I began a new professional venture this year too. More than one actually. One was temporary but something I’d never done…bartending. It was brief but I’m ever grateful for the opportunity to learn something new, meet some nice people and help to support my family. Three months in, an opportunity came my way that would become my now, full time job. Again, something I’ve never done but am eager to learn and get good at it. It shouldn’t matter what we do, we should always try for excellence and self improvement. Both of these opportunities came from people I’ve met along the way and have developed friendships with in the process. I’m extremely grateful for the faith they had in me to offer me a chance. I continue to run my Mary Kay business on a part time basis and love staying in touch with my customers.
Every year, I’m reminded of how precious life really is. This year was no different. We had to say goodbye to some friends and loved ones. And as hard as it is to go through, it’s harder to watch those closest to the one who died, as they try to figure out how to have a normal life. Seeing their pain makes me feel helpless. All one can do is be there to help in any way they can and everyday, be thankful for the gifts we’re given in family and friends. I don’t squander an opportunity to live life. And while I do, I remember those that have moved on with fond memories.
For the coming year I make no resolutions. What I promise myself though, is to continue to live life to the fullest…to appreciate those I surround myself with…to work hard and play hard…to love…and to write to you from my heart and bring you some great stories and topics. I appreciate you, our dear readers, for having interest in anything I have to say. For giving me fulfillment by way of written word. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Wishing you a year filled with love, laughter, peace and of course…music.